So, things didn't work out the way I expected to and I'm back where I said I would never return in a million years. Tension is high on my end because well frankly my Mom is going through Menopause (this is my diagnosis based on her crazy mood swings and freak outs) and she is driving me crazy. She has this unspoken rule that it is my job to clean up after myself and her regardless of the circumstances. If I'm dead tired and don't feel like cleaning the kitchen I would most likely get my head bit off by the beast whereas she can come home make a giant mess and crash into bed because she know this one way rule is in place.
I'm loosing sleep not because of her menopause psychosis but from the sheer stress of being here square one, yet again with all the odds against me just because I am young and her child and it is my job to be her slave. I think not. On top of that she constantly bullies her granddaughter into doing simple stuff she would do herself if we were not here. Like what you ask? Well lets say she gets up in the morning to get ready for work and tries on 10 outfits of course only picking one out and she has them thrown all around her room. Well that's what, she has her granddaughter clean up the mess she clearly made on her own and would be more than capable of cleaning it up if we were not here.
I hate living in this state and I pray that I will be working soon. So that I can be on my way again. I need my own space and much distance between myself and my mom. I love her but now is not a good time for me to be amongst her menopause psychosis. I don't have the patients and this double edge sword is bound to kill me. I also hope and pray that when I do start working my mom lets me save my money. Last time she enforce a rent and grocery bill and I might as well not have got a job because my whole paycheck was going in her pocket. She wouldn't allow me to save money to save my life. I really hope things are different this time, because my tongue is hurting from biting it so hard. Oh, give me strength to make it though another month it's only been one month.
