So, here I am on the eve of Christmas, working. My year had it's downs and ups, I would say that at this moment I am on an up. I have began the journey of learning more about myself and what I can accomplish on my own.
Sincerely hoping that my year will remain on the up and up. I will also continue to work on myself physically and mentally. My mental state is in a much better place than where it's been over the years. Although, I still have the occasional panic attack it is not as prominent as it was in my dark and depressed years. On the physical note, now that I have slowly come from my dark place I think I have the time and focus to work on my physical state. I have a lot of energy these days and I feel I should use this extra energy to help get myself back to a health weight. I have been really bad over the last few months with overeating and just plain old eating like crap.
I will continue to put me first over the next year, I have found that while doing this more often over the last couple of months I feel much better, even relaxed. I have also cut down a few stresses in my life. Although, it might be thought of as harsh but a lot of my stress had stemmed from family. Sometime you just need that distance in order to salvage what regains in the relationship.
This year I think I want to ease my way back into the dating scene. I have been choosing the wrong men for to long and I think I should just date for awhile. You know no single commitment to one person. Just several meet and see how it goes meeting. No, sexual encounter what so ever. I kind of suck at saying "no" especially when it's been awhile but this could give me the motivation to work my frustrations out more at the gym.
