Feeling under the weather

So feeling sick is a bad enough feeling that you don't want to deal with the rest of the world. However, I'm sitting here at Redicare and it was quiet until this ghetto mama comes in with her child. Mind you Redicare is an alternative to the ER especially for things that aren't life threatening. Well, ghetto mama was told that there was a two hour wait and she went off. On whom you may ask? No one really she just bitched about it out loud for everyone to hear. Then to top it off her phone rings and she continues that tirade on the phone. She goes on to say thet have an attitude here and axt like they don't know what they are doing. Just because she has to wait like me and every other patient in this waiting room. I so hate being sick and around ignorant people. 😠😩

Venting...as always.

So, things didn't work out the way I expected to and I'm back where I said I would never return in a million years. Tension is high on my end because well frankly my Mom is going through Menopause (this is my diagnosis based on her crazy mood swings and freak outs) and she is driving me crazy. She has this unspoken rule that it is my job to clean up after myself and her regardless of the circumstances. If I'm dead tired and don't feel like cleaning the kitchen I would most likely get my head bit off by the beast whereas she can come home make a giant mess and crash into bed because she know this one way rule is in place.

I'm loosing sleep not because of her menopause psychosis but from the sheer stress of being here square one, yet again with all the odds against me just because I am young and her child and it is my job to be her slave. I think not. On top of that she constantly bullies her granddaughter into doing simple stuff she would do herself if we were not here. Like what you ask? Well lets say she gets up in the morning to get ready for work and tries on 10 outfits of course only picking one out and she has them thrown all around her room. Well that's what, she has her granddaughter clean up the mess she clearly made on her own and would be more than capable of cleaning it up if we were not here.

I hate living in this state and I pray that I will be working soon. So that I can be on my way again. I need my own space and much distance between myself and my mom. I love her but now is not a good time for me to be amongst her menopause psychosis. I don't have the patients and this double edge sword is bound to kill me. I also hope and pray that when I do start working my mom lets me save my money. Last time she enforce a rent and grocery bill and I might as well not have got a job because my whole paycheck was going in her pocket. She wouldn't allow me to save money to save my life. I really hope things are different this time, because my tongue is hurting from biting it so hard. Oh, give me strength to make it though another month it's only been one month.

Loyalty

It's pretty bad when the only loyal male in my life is my dog.

Truth...

What is the truth especially when there is no known solution to the problem presented?

??

I need a place of my own. Away from liars and decievers. Why, did I talk myself into this situation? Do I really think things will change in time? So, far as what I can see is that there is little to no improvement happening. Could that be because as adult I know things between adults should not take this long. Most adults in a relationship are honest and communicate with their partner about everything. Not just the stuff you deem worthy to share. On top of that it is pretty bad when a neighbor knows more about what is going on in the house than the partner in the relationship. I don't know how to do this. I don't know where to go from here. At this point in time I'm ready to throw in the towel on my very unique and complicated relationship. It's only been a month. 😔😩

Born yesterday...?

Yes, I guess I was born yesterday. The lies you tell and the scemes you scemin are all new to me. I was born yesterday. Mind not the fact that I have graduated from univeristy with honors and a degree because yes, I was born yesterday. My mind is well beyond those of the simple and my body is in tuned to every emotion. I know so much more than what you think of me. For you I was born yesterday for me I am well beyond my age. I have been ther done that and have all the T-shirts, you should recognize who you speak to. I am strong and independent don't need no man to lean on. I was nice enough to consider you. The least you could do is be true. True blue to every wors whether verbal or text, i can have anyone I desire and be where ever my content heart desires. But to you I was born yesterday and you can treat me any ol' way. This be a lesson to you, you have the best and treat it like the rest you will find in time that you sir in fact the one born yesterday.

Perplexed

It's funny how you can surf the Internet and find one picture with text that describe all your feelings about one situation.

How was my day??

How Was My Day?

 

How was my day? My day is like every other day, uneventful... Why do you ask?? Because you feel sorry for me?? Or is it your way of acting like you car when in all actuality you don't. Or you forgot and now realized that the whole day has gone by and you have said not even two words to me. I am tired and on edge ready to jump from this speeding inferno called life. How was my day?? Needless to say....UNEVENTFUL. 

Why do we ask question that have such obvious answers? Why is life full of small talk and very little meaningful intellectual conversations?