So long...2015

So, here I am on the eve of Christmas, working. My year had it's downs and ups, I would say that at this moment I am on an up. I have began the journey of learning more about myself and what I can accomplish on my own. 

Sincerely hoping that my year will remain on the up and up. I will also continue to work on myself physically and mentally. My mental state is in a much better place than where it's been over the years. Although, I still have the occasional panic attack it is not as prominent as it was in my dark and depressed years. On the physical note, now that I have slowly come from my dark place I think I have the time and focus to work on my physical state. I have a lot of energy these days and I feel I should use this extra energy to help get myself back to a health weight. I have been really bad over the last few months with overeating and just plain old eating like crap.

I will continue to put me first over the next year, I have found that while doing this more often over the last couple of months I feel much better, even relaxed. I have also cut down a few stresses in my life. Although, it might be thought of as harsh but a lot of my stress had stemmed  from family. Sometime you just need that distance in order to salvage what regains in the relationship.

This year I think I want to ease my way back into the dating scene. I have been choosing the wrong men for to long and I think I should just date for awhile. You know no single commitment to one person. Just several meet and see how it goes meeting. No, sexual encounter what so ever. I kind of suck at saying "no" especially when it's been awhile but this could give me the motivation to work my frustrations out more at the gym. 

Education??!

It breaks my heart that my child is struggling in one class because the teacher won't meet her halfway.
We were recently homeless and being in such a situation students don't have access to alot oc things the teacher requires for class. For example this teacher posted article of the weeks online and asked all students to print them off do them and turn them in by the end of the week. Prior to this I pretty much handwritten letters to all of my daugher's teachers explaining our situation as well as asking them not to penalize her due to our situation.
This one teacher wether she is playing dumb or not continuously even after request from my daugher gave her the articles printed a day before the due date not allowing her extra time to complete it like her classmates. This teacher continued do this even after being asked by my daugher at the beginnig of the week. Now that the semester is windig down and my child is only failing this class she is beyond stressed.
I am so angry this happened to my child that I don't know what to do. It's really not her fault that she is failing, in this case the teacher failed her.
I am starting to understand why children are discouraged and want to drop out my high school. Where are the quality teacher?

Blogger's Discretion Advised

I'm not perfect and I try to admitt my faults. When I'm upset I write what I feel at the moment. It's raw and unfiltered. I don't give any names and no one really knows me so if I blogged about you there is no need to get upset. Everyone has moments of frusteration with no one to talk to.
That was where I was and where I always am when I'm venting. This is my release, i'm not asshamed or afraid whom might know. I've bottled too much up in myself and it hurts physically and mentally. I do this for me with no care of who reads it becausd someone out inthis great big world could probably relate.
I do not and will not now or ever apologize for my in the moment feelings beit negative or positive. I love myself enough to be okay with whatever consequences that may arise from someone finding my blog.
I'm tired of talking out loud and no one listening. I've decided to vent via blog get over it. It's not just about you it's about me.