Can I fall apart?

So last night I was thinking...I have been the rock for everyone else and I am tired. When do I get my chance to fall apart and just give up on life? Do I have that option? In retrospect no, because all those that I hold up and remain strong for would really suffer. Why is it that I feel like the only responsible person who can manage life?

I am barely hanging on to a string here and everyone runs to me as if I have it together. Guess what I don't! I WANT TO QUIT! I am exhausted! Can someone do the basic life stuff for me as I do for others? Can someone manage my money and my calendar like I do for others? Can I just not go to work and lay in bed and feel sorry for myself like others? I truly think I am due for a mid life crisis. Seriously! I know I'm well past mid-life but what the heck!

All these young people are falling apart at the seams around me were I have remained vigilant and steadfast.
I know I am a great role model for my teenager, but I am tired, done, finished so ready to just throw in the towel. Not in the sense of ending my life or anything lets get that straight. I have no thoughts of harming myself. I just wish the load of my life was not so heavy. What do I mean, well I am a parent, sister, aunt, sister in law, daughter, cousin, wedding planner, counselor, financial adviser, calendar manager, web purchaser, stuff finder, entertainer, ATM, and so on. You see why I am tired? I just don't get to be just me, I have entirely to many hats that I am wearing and some of them are very unnecessary...for instance financial adviser...why am I managing anyone else's money when I can't handle my own? I didn't ask for that it just fell on me because I seem as though I have it together in that department and the is extremely incorrect.

I need a break, a long vacation away from people, internet and phone. Can I just go off the grid for a month or so? Recoup find myself and learn so say no to everyone and everything that finds its way to me after my retreat from life.

So tired...